Indigo Mental Wellness in Grief
Coping Steps in the Grieving Process
GRIEF IS UNIVERSAL - YET GRIEVERS ARE DISTINCTIVE.Grieving follows a pattern, but each griever experiences it differently. Awareness of the basic pattern reveals common ground for mutual help and support. Recognition of each griever's uniqueness empowers grievers to help themselves and guides sympathizers in what to say and do.
THE FIVE COPING STAGES OF TRAUMA ARE:
SHOCK/ DENIAL
ANGER/ GUILT
BARGAINING
DEPRESSION
ACCEPTANCE
There are many configurations, depending upon circumstances
Wikipedia
The model was introduced by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, and was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients.[3] Motivated by the lack of instruction in medical schools on the subject of death and dying, Kübler-Ross examined death and those faced with it at the University of Chicago's medical school. Kübler-Ross's project evolved into a series of seminars which, along with patient interviews and previous research, became the foundation for her book.[4] Although Kübler-Ross is commonly credited with creating stage models, earlier bereavement theorists and clinicians such as Erich Lindemann, Collin Murray Parkes, and John Bowlby used similar models of stages of phases as early as the 1940s.[5]
Later in her life, Kübler-Ross noted that the stages are not a linear and predictable progression and that she regretted writing them in a way that was misunderstood.[6] "Kübler-Ross originally saw these stages as reflecting how people cope with illness and dying," observed grief researcher Kenneth J. Doka, "not as reflections of how people grieve."[7]
These stages have been applied in many other cases of loss or traumatic change, victimization, like, the onslaught of the media in displaying Rape, Molestation, Lynching, Captivity, Police Brutality, robbery, injustice, bankruptcy, divorce, and even in national losses in the death of famous people, pestilence, Natural disasters, Civil Unrest/War, and Economic Depression/Recession, etc..
I am writing this in solution to the onslaught and gauntlet of trauma and the witness of trauma, police brutality, blatant systemic Racism, Micro-Aggression, and misogyny, toward Melanin Indigo Peoples.
RECOVERY FROM A LOVED ONE'S DEATH REQUIRES MORE THAN TIME. Yet, as we allow ourselves the time to mourn we can gradually break grief's grip on us. Recognizing the role and value of the grieving process orients us to accept the fact of death. Acceptance marks a major step toward recovery.
SHOCK INITIATES US INTO MOURNING.
We go numb when someone we love dies. We feel stunned, in a trance. This is nature's way of cushioning us against tragedy. The length and depth of this state varies according to our relationship, the cause of death or tragedy, whether it was sudden or expected, etc. Shock allows us time to absorb what has happened and to begin to adjust. The guidance of caring people can sustain new grievers. As the numbness wears off and acceptance grows, we regain control of the direction of our lives. Shock is a real health challenge. People must not be left alone in as much as possible. Shock is a stress. Our bodies release cortisol and adrenaline, So, body functions can go haywire, which can lead to not only depression and suicide, but to mood swings, high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack, etc..
ACCEPTANCE BRINGS HOPE AND HEALING TO GRIEVERS.
RECOVERY FROM A LOVED ONE'S DEATH REQUIRES MORE THAN TIME. Yet, as we allow ourselves the time to mourn we can gradually break grief's grip on us. Recognizing the role and value of the grieving process orients us to accept the fact of death. Acceptance marks a major step toward recovery.
SHOCK INITIATES US INTO MOURNING.
We go numb when someone we love dies. We feel stunned, in a trance. This is nature's way of cushioning us against tragedy. The length and depth of this state varies according to our relationship, the cause of death or tragedy, whether it was sudden or expected, etc. Shock allows us time to absorb what has happened and to begin to adjust. The guidance of caring people can sustain new grievers. As the numbness wears off and acceptance grows, we regain control of the direction of our lives. Shock is a real health challenge. People must not be left alone in as much as possible. Shock is a stress. Our bodies release cortisol and adrenaline, So, body functions can go haywire, which can lead to not only depression and suicide, but to mood swings, high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack, etc..
We must remember that we have our own Afrikan spirituality to relegate our mental health. We acknowledge that no one ever dies. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. We venerate our Ancestors and connect with all life force energy. It is normal to see the face of your loved one in a crowd, or in the distant. It is acceptable to keep the energy of your loved one around you in their clothing, favorite jewelry Shoes sweaters etc.
5 LEADING CAUSES OF DEATH
It is vital to build our immune system. We must look to controlling what we put into our mouths, and regulate through stress.
The 5 leading causes of death Nationally in population, for Indigo People, does not include homicide. The leading causes of death, are diet and stress-related. These are:
Heart Attack,
Stroke,
High Blood Pressure,
Diabetes, and
Cancers.
Many of us are being loved to death, in the foods that we prepare for our loved ones. High levels of salt and sugar, high fructose corn syrup, highly processed wheat, white rice, dairy, pork, and fatty portions of red meat are mitigating the symptoms of terminal diseases. Often time the very foods that are served at the funeral repast are the most terminally toxic foods that put their loved one in the grave. Eating more fresh raw vegetables and fruits, and growing our own foods, free of pesticides and artificial growth hormones are pinnacle.
We must regulate our own clean Air, Clean Water, Fresh Clean Foods, Land, Energy, Transportation, etc..
GRIEF IS HAZARDOUS TO OUR HEALTH.
The mental and emotional upset of a loss by death causes physical distress and vulnerability to illness due to a lowered immune system. Grievers sometimes neglect healthy nourishment and exercise, overindulge in drinking, smoking, or medication. We might need a doctor's advice in regard to our symptoms, their causes, and their treatment.
The mental and emotional upset of a loss by death causes physical distress and vulnerability to illness due to a lowered immune system. Grievers sometimes neglect healthy nourishment and exercise, overindulge in drinking, smoking, or medication. We might need a doctor's advice in regard to our symptoms, their causes, and their treatment.
GRIEVERS NEED TO KNOW THEY'RE NORMAL.
The death of a loved one makes the future very uncertain. We might panic in the face of the unknown and fear life without the one who died. Panic prevents concentration and defers acceptance of the finality of death. It tempts us to run from life, to avoid people, and to refuse to try new things. We might even think we're going crazy. Patience with ourselves and a willingness to accept help enable us to subdue panic and outgrow its confusion.
GRIEVERS SUFFER GUILT FEELINGS.
Many blame themselves after a loved one's death, for the death itself, or for faults in the relationship. We have all made mistakes and sincere regret is the best response to them. Self-blame can move out of proportion to our behavior and affects mental health and recovery. Close friends or a trusted counselor can aid us in confronting and dealing with guilt feelings, whether justified or exaggerated.
GRIEF MAKES PEOPLE ANGRY.
People in grief naturally ask "Why?" Why him? Why me? Why now? Why like this? Most of these questions have no answers. Frustration then causes us to feel resentment and anger. We want someone to blame: God, doctors, clergy, ourselves, even the one who died. If we can accept the lack of answers to "Why?" we might begin to ask, instead, what can we do now to grow through what has happened. Then we have started to move beyond anger and towards hope.
EMOTIONAL UPSEARGE CHARACTERIZES GRIEVERS.
A loved one's death disrupts the emotional balance. The variety and intensity of feelings can be overwhelming. Other grievers and counselors can help us interpret and deal with these feelings. As we come to understand what we experience, we can find appropriate ways to release our emotions and channel them constructively.
GRIEVERS OFTEN LACK DIRECTION AND PURPOSE.
At times in the grieving process, a kind of drifting occurs. Mourners find familiar and necessary activities difficult. We prefer to daydream about what was or fantasize about what might have been. If we can foster gratitude for the past and begin to assess our potential for the future, this will prove a passing phase, not a permanent state. We often think that the process of grief is set and controllable, yet many ways there are continual spirals. Just as we know that our Ancestors never truly die and that we can sustain a connection to them. The pattern of the grief system, spirals, ebbs, and flows.
The death of a loved one makes the future very uncertain. We might panic in the face of the unknown and fear life without the one who died. Panic prevents concentration and defers acceptance of the finality of death. It tempts us to run from life, to avoid people, and to refuse to try new things. We might even think we're going crazy. Patience with ourselves and a willingness to accept help enable us to subdue panic and outgrow its confusion.
GRIEVERS SUFFER GUILT FEELINGS.
Many blame themselves after a loved one's death, for the death itself, or for faults in the relationship. We have all made mistakes and sincere regret is the best response to them. Self-blame can move out of proportion to our behavior and affects mental health and recovery. Close friends or a trusted counselor can aid us in confronting and dealing with guilt feelings, whether justified or exaggerated.
GRIEF MAKES PEOPLE ANGRY.
People in grief naturally ask "Why?" Why him? Why me? Why now? Why like this? Most of these questions have no answers. Frustration then causes us to feel resentment and anger. We want someone to blame: God, doctors, clergy, ourselves, even the one who died. If we can accept the lack of answers to "Why?" we might begin to ask, instead, what can we do now to grow through what has happened. Then we have started to move beyond anger and towards hope.
EMOTIONAL UPSEARGE CHARACTERIZES GRIEVERS.
A loved one's death disrupts the emotional balance. The variety and intensity of feelings can be overwhelming. Other grievers and counselors can help us interpret and deal with these feelings. As we come to understand what we experience, we can find appropriate ways to release our emotions and channel them constructively.
GRIEVERS OFTEN LACK DIRECTION AND PURPOSE.
At times in the grieving process, a kind of drifting occurs. Mourners find familiar and necessary activities difficult. We prefer to daydream about what was or fantasize about what might have been. If we can foster gratitude for the past and begin to assess our potential for the future, this will prove a passing phase, not a permanent state. We often think that the process of grief is set and controllable, yet many ways there are continual spirals. Just as we know that our Ancestors never truly die and that we can sustain a connection to them. The pattern of the grief system, spirals, ebbs, and flows.
GRIEF CAUSES DEPRESSION.
Grievers typically, experience loneliness, separation anxiety, and depression. Being alone need not result in loneliness. Reaching out to others is a key way to lessen loneliness and to overcome depression. some people throw themselves into work or a mission. Yet, many become lethargic and immobile. It is important to Breath in clean air, exercise, and let the sun saturate your skin as much as possible.
ACCEPTANCE BRINGS HOPE AND HEALING TO GRIEVERS.
It takes time and effort but gradually hope arrives for bereaved people. We learn to express emotions without embarrassment or apology. We cherish memories, bittersweet though they are. we begin to feel concerned and show interest in others. We make decisions and assume responsibility for ourselves. The example of the recovered grievers helps us discover and develop our own potential.
SURVIVORS REAFFIRM THEMSELVES AND CHOOSE LIFE.
Eventually, grievers recognize and embrace a healing truth: Grief has changed me, but has not destroyed me. I've discovered new things about myself. I can build on strengths developed through adversity. I'm no longer my "old self" but I'm still me, I face the future with confidence. Life is worth living because I can love and be loved.
Kandaki-Ma Nuta Beqsu (Adenike Amen-Ra)
I hope you have enjoyed our presentation. Amen Par Ankh is our Outreach ministry. Please support our initiatives...
(c) All rights reserved. No part of this Blog may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the author; Nuta Beqsu Adenike AmenRa
We are available for Lectures, Panel Discussions, Conferences, and Workshops, along with an Af-Ra-Ka-N Centered curriculum for youth STEAM homeschooling, Workshops, and Itinerate Tutoring.
We live in our ancient KMT Spiritual systems to serve our community in Libations, Griot Spoken Word Presentations, KMT Wedding, Naming and ReBirth, Personal consultations for Nia (Purpose), Health, Career and, Relationship, and Ascension officiant, Salutations and Blessings for new beginnings, (Home and Businesses blessings), Afrikan Storytelling. Amen Par Ankh is a Sacred Temple of Life- We are a KRST conscious Community. We Grow Food to restore balance in our relationship with the cosmos, earth, and our Natural communities by increasing awareness of Life, Health, and the Environment. We are a Maafia a "Healthy Place To Live" Amen Ankh Urban Farm’s Mission is to produce, promote, and perpetuate food, resources, and comfort and to grow local healthy Indigenous Foods in environmentally, respected, earth gentle ways. Call Us-816-281-7704
Contact: amen.parankh@gmail.com or amen.ankh@live.com
The information on this website has been put together for general information, education, reference, Spirituality Current Events, and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to provide medical advice. This information has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any specific condition. Ask your doctor for his professional advice before making radical changes in your diet and lifestyle.
I am a Kandaki Ma of many Suns, Daughters, Grand Princesses, and Princes, living in the urban Kansas City Area. With a mission to provide solutions to the cycles of violence, health disparities, poverty, and inequalities in wealth, I opened the Amen Par Ankh, a Natural Life Center, and Amen Ankh Academy and Homeschool network of Industrial arts. This is a green space for Home Scholars, an Independent Library and Home Blessings and Notions. I am presently available for Consultations, Workshops Edutainment, and lectures. currently working with grief counseling making Dolls for mothers who have suffered the loss of their children. I have worked in the community as a Teacher, Priestess, Minister, Life coach, blogger, respected public speaker, and educator. I have conducted several workshops at various organizations, served as a panelist and as a keynote speaker at regional meetings. I had a monthly call-in or listen online- Radio show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amencommunications Nuta Beqsu means (heaven gives me balance) This is an ancient KMT language that is still in practice today. Nu and Nut are Elemental powers of the Heavens: Nu is Moisture and Water. Nut is the Celestial Star-goddess. She represents the cosmos and the universe, always giving birth to new stars. The Universe is always giving birth to new solar systems and stars. Ta is the original word for place, land, and City-States of our ancient Matriarchal societies. Our land is our home, and the place for the empirical existence where we learn from our experiences. She seeks to live in a balance between the planetary and heavenly existences. We are all connected to the land, trees, microcosm and macrocosm, Inner verse and universe. Nuta Beqsu (heaven gives me balance) will be programmed into conscious spirit, to produce thought sequences to direct a course of action as a way to achieve success in life. Visualization is thought converted into a pleasurable visual image(s) to achieve a goal and/or purpose. We connect with Divine Power to guide and direct our pathways. As a divine name is spoken the receiver has unity of direction in life. Our names reflect our Destiny. So, the sight Sound, vision, smell, and colors associated with a divine name will give guidance in my pathway of life. As a Minister and Director at Amen Par Ankh and Ankh Amen Ankh Akademy, we offer Ancestor Libation Ceremony, Consultations and Life Coaching for Destiny, Name, Health, Career, and Relationships. Afrikan Wedding planning and officiating services, Home and Business Blessings, Naming, Birth Blessings, Domestic Engineering, Homegoing Ascension services, Lectures, and edutainment- Storytelling, Music, Dance, Youth Outreach and Economic Literacy, Travel agency, Insurance Referrals, and STEAM(science technology engineering vocational Arts mathematics medicine) Career introduction called You GROWW Girls- Teach a Girl, Heal a Nation GROWW means (Gaining, Resilience, Opportunity, Wellness and Wealth) Call for your appointment: 816-281-7704 Feel free to Contact the Amen Ankh Urban Farm... amen.ankh@live.com or amen.parankh@gmail.com
SURVIVORS REAFFIRM THEMSELVES AND CHOOSE LIFE.
Eventually, grievers recognize and embrace a healing truth: Grief has changed me, but has not destroyed me. I've discovered new things about myself. I can build on strengths developed through adversity. I'm no longer my "old self" but I'm still me, I face the future with confidence. Life is worth living because I can love and be loved.
Kandaki-Ma Nuta Beqsu (Adenike Amen-Ra)
I hope you have enjoyed our presentation. Amen Par Ankh is our Outreach ministry. Please support our initiatives...
(c) All rights reserved. No part of this Blog may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the author; Nuta Beqsu Adenike AmenRa
We are available for Lectures, Panel Discussions, Conferences, and Workshops, along with an Af-Ra-Ka-N Centered curriculum for youth STEAM homeschooling, Workshops, and Itinerate Tutoring.
We live in our ancient KMT Spiritual systems to serve our community in Libations, Griot Spoken Word Presentations, KMT Wedding, Naming and ReBirth, Personal consultations for Nia (Purpose), Health, Career and, Relationship, and Ascension officiant, Salutations and Blessings for new beginnings, (Home and Businesses blessings), Afrikan Storytelling. Amen Par Ankh is a Sacred Temple of Life- We are a KRST conscious Community. We Grow Food to restore balance in our relationship with the cosmos, earth, and our Natural communities by increasing awareness of Life, Health, and the Environment. We are a Maafia a "Healthy Place To Live" Amen Ankh Urban Farm’s Mission is to produce, promote, and perpetuate food, resources, and comfort and to grow local healthy Indigenous Foods in environmentally, respected, earth gentle ways. Call Us-816-281-7704
Contact: amen.parankh@gmail.com or amen.ankh@live.com
The information on this website has been put together for general information, education, reference, Spirituality Current Events, and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to provide medical advice. This information has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any specific condition. Ask your doctor for his professional advice before making radical changes in your diet and lifestyle.
I am a Kandaki Ma of many Suns, Daughters, Grand Princesses, and Princes, living in the urban Kansas City Area. With a mission to provide solutions to the cycles of violence, health disparities, poverty, and inequalities in wealth, I opened the Amen Par Ankh, a Natural Life Center, and Amen Ankh Academy and Homeschool network of Industrial arts. This is a green space for Home Scholars, an Independent Library and Home Blessings and Notions. I am presently available for Consultations, Workshops Edutainment, and lectures. currently working with grief counseling making Dolls for mothers who have suffered the loss of their children. I have worked in the community as a Teacher, Priestess, Minister, Life coach, blogger, respected public speaker, and educator. I have conducted several workshops at various organizations, served as a panelist and as a keynote speaker at regional meetings. I had a monthly call-in or listen online- Radio show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amencommunications Nuta Beqsu means (heaven gives me balance) This is an ancient KMT language that is still in practice today. Nu and Nut are Elemental powers of the Heavens: Nu is Moisture and Water. Nut is the Celestial Star-goddess. She represents the cosmos and the universe, always giving birth to new stars. The Universe is always giving birth to new solar systems and stars. Ta is the original word for place, land, and City-States of our ancient Matriarchal societies. Our land is our home, and the place for the empirical existence where we learn from our experiences. She seeks to live in a balance between the planetary and heavenly existences. We are all connected to the land, trees, microcosm and macrocosm, Inner verse and universe. Nuta Beqsu (heaven gives me balance) will be programmed into conscious spirit, to produce thought sequences to direct a course of action as a way to achieve success in life. Visualization is thought converted into a pleasurable visual image(s) to achieve a goal and/or purpose. We connect with Divine Power to guide and direct our pathways. As a divine name is spoken the receiver has unity of direction in life. Our names reflect our Destiny. So, the sight Sound, vision, smell, and colors associated with a divine name will give guidance in my pathway of life. As a Minister and Director at Amen Par Ankh and Ankh Amen Ankh Akademy, we offer Ancestor Libation Ceremony, Consultations and Life Coaching for Destiny, Name, Health, Career, and Relationships. Afrikan Wedding planning and officiating services, Home and Business Blessings, Naming, Birth Blessings, Domestic Engineering, Homegoing Ascension services, Lectures, and edutainment- Storytelling, Music, Dance, Youth Outreach and Economic Literacy, Travel agency, Insurance Referrals, and STEAM(science technology engineering vocational Arts mathematics medicine) Career introduction called You GROWW Girls- Teach a Girl, Heal a Nation GROWW means (Gaining, Resilience, Opportunity, Wellness and Wealth) Call for your appointment: 816-281-7704 Feel free to Contact the Amen Ankh Urban Farm... amen.ankh@live.com or amen.parankh@gmail.com
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